Mom asks, “Why me?”


Mom had the deepest respect for doctors, and almost always took any medication prescribed to her.  She also saw fit to stop any medication she thought she didn’t need without consulting her doctor. Often, she would say, “There were no more refills,” or “It does nothing to help.”

One such time I could remember was when mom visited California a few months after she started medication for hypertension. She came without refills since the doctor in New York didn’t tell her to refill it. Two weeks into her visit, I came home to mom standing alone in the garage, holding a towel to her nose. Bleeding, she cried, “I don’t want to get your floor full of blood.” Panicked, we rushed to Mission Hospital, where the doctor packed her nose with gauze after waiting a few hours, then sent her home with several refills of medication for high blood pressure. The caring doctor made her promise to continue the medication, probably for the rest of her life. She said, “I promise.” And to this day, still takes it.

Years ago, her doctor strongly recommended the addition of calcium. Mom thought she didn’t need it. “I drink plenty of milk, eat cheese, and get sunshine,” was her retort after I sent her bottles of various brands of calcium to try. I get it–back then the tablets were huge and hard to swallow. Begging her to take the calcium fell on deaf ears. Adamantly, she’d say, “I don’t like it.”

Three weeks ago, mom bumped into a doorjamb in her home after loosing her footing. At 92, she is frail. In the past two or three years, she has fallen several times and had to spend some time in rehab to learn how to regain her balance. This bump in the doorjamb found her with a broken clavicle, scapula and tenth rib. On top of that, she has an unproductive cough and it’s hard to avoid pain when she “gets that tickle.”

So, when she asks me, “Why me?” I find myself thinking about all the pleading I did, to remind her to take the calcium I sent.

Now, I have my mom’s genes and many of the same ailments. Diagnosed with Osteopenia a few years ago, I also poo-poo’d the power of calcium. I also have difficulty swallowing pills, but found the gummy calcium are to my liking. Having not taken them ‘religiously’ yet, I will now, for I’m in New York this week visiting mom, and see how frail she has become. She needs help with everyday tasks, and lifting her, I feel her bones cracking as if they’ll turn to dust.

Ladies, please: If you are at the age where menopause is beginning, and estrogen levels start to deplete, run out and get your calcium if your physician says to. I now see how important it is, and no amount of milk or cheese is going to replace bones that soften.

Let’s try never to ask, “Why me?”




About columbo1es

Female, aspiring writer. I've been writing my mothers memoirs for 4 years. First draft is complete. Holocaust Revelations is about the journey I took gathering and researching information world wide, and the relationships I formed trying to connect the dots to my mothers past.
This entry was posted in Es' Place, Life, Medicine, Doctors,, Mothers, Personal, Random, Women's Health, Health, Menopause, Osteopenia, Osteoporosis, Calcium and Vitamin D. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Mom asks, “Why me?”

  1. Roslyn says:

    I am Roslyn Eldar aged 62 from Melbourne, Australia .My mother, nee Lilly Ruttner + her sister Elza Ruttner +their mother Berta Ruttner and 4 other cousins ,all from Czechoslovakia ,were n Muna. I am gong to visit it 2018 May 3 Liberation day. Two cousins were in a train car that was bombed -they survived unharmed .Where did you mother come from/what was her maiden name ? My aunt Elza aged 90 is still alive here in Melbourne . One other cousin nee Mindu Klein is alive in Birmingham UK (she was in the bombed train car) I got your link from the Muna Memorial. I have a lot of information as I am doing a lot of my own research and my own book perhaps . I have 13 affidavits approx. translated from German to English from a pre trial hearing done in 1977 when it was thought to bring those in charge of Muna to trial( the trial did not happen).I have my families prisoner cards- based on their birthdays and other information – there are no names on the cards. Are you interested to communicate with me ? Please write to


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